Never say this to the Groom!
Once a couple are engaged and are making preparations for their wedding, their friends, family and colleagues need to be as supportive as possible throughout what can be a very difficult period.
Many grooms find the wedding planning process very stressful and everyone concerned should try their best to avoid doing or saying anything that might make things worse. At such times it is very easy to say wrong thing and I include a list below, in reverse order, of the top five things grooms just don’t want to hear:
- “What did YOU get up to on your stag night!”
Scenario: You can imagine the scene. Your aunt and uncle invite you both to Sunday tea. Everything is going well, until your uncle, leans across and, with a mischievous glint in his eye, whispers loudly enough for everybody in the room to hear, “So, young man, what did YOU get up to on your stag night?;
What to do: Say as little as possible! This might not be the place for a step-by-step explanation of how you spend the evening. Simply tell them as much as you can being very careful to edit out the parts you’d rather they, and your bride, don’t find out about it!
- “So, have you got any baby plans?”
Scenario: The two of you are chatting with friends when someone asks about your ‘baby plans’.You are going to get asked this a lot so you better be prepared for people (even those that you don’t know very well) asking you what your ‘baby plans’ are;
What to do: You’ve only just plucked up the courage to ask her to marry you so it’s not unreasonable to only have vague plans about having babies. Agree between both of you what the best response is so that you both say more or less the same thing and there’s no public disagreement between you and your other half;
- “What happened in Vegas stays in Vegas!”
Scenario: Whether you hear these words from one of the bridesmaids who accompanied the bride on her hen night, or whether these words were uttered by the best man during the wedding speeches you are in a no win situation;
What to do: Either way you should be reassured that if something actually ‘did happen’ in Vegas (or Blackpool, Prague or wherever) no one would say so in public. You hope! All you need to do now is find out why she came back from her hen night without her mobile phone and you need to be able to explain how you came back from your stag do with suspected pneumonia………
- “Oh dear, I think we might have gone slightly over the budget”
Scenario: You sit down with your bride to discuss some final wedding preparations. You start looking at the bills and your bride says the words no groom ever wants to hear “oh dear I think we might have gone slightly over budget!”
What to do: This may not be the best time to debate how things have gone over budget and who’s responsible. (There will be plenty of time for that, after the wedding!) At this point it is simply a matter of seeing which other costs can be reduced and thinking of creative ways of making what remains of the budget go further;
- “Hmmmm…..Did you keep the receipt?”
Scenario: You’ve got the engagement ring, you have rehearsed and rehearsed how you’re going to propose and you have even planned the best place to pop the question! However, things don’t go to plan! While she did say “Yes”, when you showed her the ring she took one look at it and she says “Hmmmm…….Did you keep the receipt?” What a disaster!;
What to do: It looks like both of you are going back to the jewellers to purchase a ring that she prefers. But don’t rush into anything yet – all is not lost. There is still a chance that the ring will grow on her and you can be confident every single person she shows it to will tell her how absolutely wonderful it looks!